"Let's be real friends." Sarah, a coworker and FB friend, said this to me a while back. We fell in together at our company's Christmas happy hour as we often do at such events. We were saying goodbye and probably discussing the possibility of getting together again. It was a perfect statement--how without overdoing it, simply saying that actual friends do more, make more of an effort.
So I emailed her yesterday, basically asking her out to dinner so we could be "real friends." I found myself getting a little nervous awaiting her reply.
I also went ahead and emailed a few other casual friends/coworkers and former coworkers in the same spirit. One woman got back to me that night and we quickly made dinner plans. Another hedged a little when I broached the subject of grabbing lunch. I don't think it was the idea she rejected. It had more to do with the practicalities of actually making it happen. The lunch idea was left hanging out there and no date was made. I was a little surprised actually. I expected the opposite. I don't know whether to bring it up again or let it lie.
Sarah got back to me and apparently remembered the "let's be real friends." And we just might make a plan and try it.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Misery Loves Facebook
It's old news that comparing what one has to what others have is a short road to unhappiness. The new news is how Facebook, according to one study, "aggravates this tendency."
Sure, I definitely see how this happens. Had a day ruined because I realized that an ex was "in a relationship?" Check. Had mean thoughts about an old schoolmate whose life still seemed annoyingly perfect? Ok I've been there too.
It's normal to feel this way. But I don't like locking eyes with the green-eyed monster more than I have to. I want to feel like my life has what it needs. And so I most often stop myself from idly flipping through a FB friend's pictures just because they're there and I can kill a couple minutes on them. I have to give myself a better reason--that I'm genuinely happy or interested in this person's (dog/car/baby/wedding/vacation to Tahiti/etc.)
So I why do I keep the others around? How real are my connections? I'd like to know the answers.
Sure, I definitely see how this happens. Had a day ruined because I realized that an ex was "in a relationship?" Check. Had mean thoughts about an old schoolmate whose life still seemed annoyingly perfect? Ok I've been there too.
It's normal to feel this way. But I don't like locking eyes with the green-eyed monster more than I have to. I want to feel like my life has what it needs. And so I most often stop myself from idly flipping through a FB friend's pictures just because they're there and I can kill a couple minutes on them. I have to give myself a better reason--that I'm genuinely happy or interested in this person's (dog/car/baby/wedding/vacation to Tahiti/etc.)
So I why do I keep the others around? How real are my connections? I'd like to know the answers.
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